literature

Fairy, Princess, Queer

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inkstaineddove's avatar
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Literature Text

Sweat making naked skin shine.
Towels wrapped around toned bodies.
Flick my eyes to the ground.
Hanging in the shower till their gone.

The door makes a satisfying
'Click!' indicating the last left.
Escape from my hole into the open.
The air stings my exposed bum.

Humming some eighties tune while
I prepare for my shower.
I think it's Like a Virgin.

The shower shuts off.
I freeze like a deer in headlights.
Beautiful body tanned and muscular.
Where have you been all my life?

Eyes float from his hair -
What beautiful dirty blonde -
To his  amazing groin -
So...big!

His azure eyes catch me staring.
The words leak out of his mouth,
Are you gay?
Shit!

I run out the door,
Ass naked into the girls locker room.
He wouldn't chase me here.

Everything I've tried so
Desperately to hide comes out.
No more football scholorship -
Who wants a fairy to play for them? -
My jock status is lost -
Guess I'll eat with the nerds -
I'm part of the crowd yet I'm not.

I'll be targeted because
He found out and he'll tell.
He'll tell because I'm a
FAG
An in-closet football star gets caught eyeing a teamamate. He panics when asked about his sexuality and runs. These thoughts play through his head. The reason he would try to be the last to get ready is to make sure there isn't temptation. But he told everyone else it made him feel like a "fucking queer." Oh the irony.

I got this while during gym. Running the mile is good for something!

Sweat was also a big part of this.
© 2012 - 2024 inkstaineddove
Comments12
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LuvThemHungerGames's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

Thanks for the invite to critique your poem <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>

The ending was "wow." It sent a punch to the stomach, and made the reader pull back in suprise. Into questioning of those they konw, and poissibly of who they are.

I absolutely love how you wrote this. The choppy style of the character's thoughts shows that he is nervous. Trying to hide, and get out of the situation unscathed. It shows his racing mind, and I like to imagine his racing heartbeat. The description was oddly there yet not. It jumped around from image to image, and caught onto the seemingly most random, obscene things. This added to the feel of jumpiness of the character.

I must add that your metaphors also add much emphasis on the feelings of your character. Fairy vs football player. Jock Vs nerd. The irony of someone 'gay' running into the girls locker room knowing that the guy wouldn't chase him there. Loved it.

It is rather unfortunate that people are treated like this. Not just the gays, but also the nerds. "...part of the crowd yet I'm not." I realize this isn't a slam of them <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/> It's far from it. It just reinforces the idea that everyone is put into their own categories, and some are judged harshly because they are stamped with each clique.

I hope this makes people think twice before opening their mouths to say something that could be offensive...

For you never know how deep words can penetrate until you are in that person's shoes. And NEVER will you be in that person's shoes. For you wear your own style, size, and break yours in differently. Be careful for the tounge is as cutting as any sword!

Keep on writting. Loved the emtion you had behind this poem. You're a force to be reckon'd with.

May the odds be ever in your favor!
-LuvThemHungerGames