In Which We Realize We Love Each Other

"Oh for fucks sake!" High-heeled feet stomped down the stairs as the curses continued. The language being spoken switched from English to Dutch then back to English again. Elizabeth stormed into the dining room, hung up her phone, and slapped it down on the table. Connecticut, being in his ready position, handed her a cup of coffee without so much as a thanks. 

New York sat down at the table and glared at the mug. "I fucking hate that rat bastard." It was the first Tuesday of the month which meant she had gotten off the phone with the Netherlands, her dearly estranged father. "He can go choke on a sack full of dicks and then drown in the cum for all I give a damn about."

Massachusetts, not even looking up from his copy of the Boston Globe, replied with a coy smile. "I see you're in a creative mood today. Can't wait to see all the fifty new ways you'll tell me to go fuck myself later on."

On cue, she glared up at him. "Oh, shove a chainsaw up your ass, you fucking scumbag." That got a laugh out of him that only intensified her glare.

Darian sat besides his sister and pushed his glasses up. "Elizabeth," He placed a hand on her arm to draw her attention to him. "What did our - how did you put it? - 'rat bastard' vader have to say this time?" The Nutmegger was trying to hold back a laugh at her temper for fear that if he did, it would only worsen. 

"He had the fucking balls to ask me if I had found anyone that fucking tolerated me. Like for fucks sake! Am I that miserable of a bitch?"

The silence between Massachusetts, Connecticut, and New Jersey was all the answer she needed.

"You guys can burn in Hell with him!" She huffed and chugged down her coffee for comfort. 

Brian, sitting on the other side of her, raised an eyebrow at his sister. "Yo, you really think he'd believe someone actually was in a relationship with you? He's known you since birth, Lizzie. He knows how fucking horrible you are. That's your fault. Besides, not like you told him you were dating anyone."

For once in her life, the state of New York was silent.

"Oi vey! Lizzie, I get it, I really do. I lie to him all the time 'bout stuff like this. But there's a difference between you and me. I can keep someone happy for a day. You're gonna drive the poor schmuck crazy within twelve hours." New Jersey ran his hands through his hair. "And of course you do it the month he's visiting for work. You're a fucking moron! I needa smoke." Without a regard for anyone else, he lit a cigarette right there in the middle of the room.

Darian, on the other hand, was calculating how they could get her out of this mess. "It's simple really. You call him up the day before he arrives, sobbing. You pretend this invisible suitor broke your heart. He can't blame you if you're the one devastated. He'll try though so we have to come up with a convincing sob story. We'll have to study the most popular romantic movies to see what's the best excuse. I suggest we begin with The Notebook and end with Titanic."

Alexander had put his newspaper down on the table. He watched the familial mess in front of him play out for awhile. It was amusing. It definitely gave him a few laughs. But, he wasn't cruel enough to lie and say he hadn't done anything to provoke this. He let the three panic and plot for another minute before interrupting. "Aye, guys. I know you're all gonna be wicked pissed when I say this, but him getting this idea is my fault."

In harmony, New York and New Jersey jumped out of their chairs and began hurling insults at him. Connecticut rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Why am I even surprised?" He sighed.

Massachusetts let them finish their ranting and raving before he continued. "When I was on that strange trip into Dutch territory for Alfred, you guys' dad was asking me about you all. Answered the questions, they all seemed harmless enough." He shrugged and began to pick up his paper again. He laughed when he saw that now all three were seething with rage. "Don't worry, all wicked good things. I bragged about how good a doc Darian is, said Brian had a steady job and was laying off the beers - which you really should do dude - and I said Lizzie and I were dating."

He began reading his paper again as if it were nothing. Elizabeth snatched it out of his hands and handed it to Brian, who tucked it into his pants. "What? Why? How much do you fucking hate me?"

"Normally, not too much. Right now, a lot. Gimme my damn paper back."

"Not till you explain what you dragged me into."

"Fine!" Alex leaned back in his chair and smirked at the three of them. They all did look alike when pissed off. "He was going on about how he wished your mother had stepped up and stayed in your life, wished how he could tell you who she was, and admired how I was the only one who could keep you in check-"

"Keep me in check? No man keeps me in line. I'm independent. I'm fucking free, man. I ain't no dog."

"Fantastic. Now would you stop interrupting me and acting like a yappy bitch? Thanks." He huffed. "Anyways, I disagreed with him when he said that. I said our relationship was one of some sort of weird balance. The only way he could understand that was if I said we were dating. I kinda helped you out. You're welcome. Now you're unofficially dating the sexiest state in the union. What a great rival I am."

Elizabeth was pacing around the room now. "Great. Fucking great. Now I'm screwed for when he comes. I'm dead. I'm totally dead. You set me up so bad, I can't weasel my way out of it. I hate you so much you stupid goddamn Masshole."

Alex was now reading the issue of Sports Illustrated on the table. "Funny, that's not what you were saying when you rode me a couple night ago." 

That stopped everyone dead in their tracks. Alex winked. "Checkmate, bitch."

Brian calmly walked over to Massachusetts' end of the table. He picked the Masshole up by the collar of his shirt. "I'm going to fucking kill you. You screwed my sister? And she actually liked it?"

"What? Was I supposed to wait for you to hit it first?"

"Oh, that's it!"

Connecticut jumped in between them and pushed New Jersey away. "Are you three idiots? This is our only plan! Alex has to stay alive otherwise there will be a homicide investigation opened on you and Elizabeth. And this time, I won't bail you two out!" He smoothed down his shirt and fixed his hair before continuing. "Now, I know it's not the most desirable option - or, maybe in light of recent events, it actually is - but we have to go through with this. I'm fully aware fake dating is such a cliché, but we have no other options. Elizabeth and Alexander will have to somehow manage to fake a convincing enough romantic relationship to fool our hard to please father." 

Brian walked into the kitchen. "I need a drink."

Elizabeth eyed down Alexander. Her worst nightmare, her biggest rival, and now her boyfriend. He blew a kiss at her. "Let's get to practicing, sweetheart."

This would be a long week.
----
One week later

The pair sat side-by-side in the booth of an upscale restaurant. The whole week they had been pretending to be in a relationship to make their pairing seem more authentic. At first, it felt strained and uncomfortable. It was hard for them to get out of their habit of constantly insulting each other and the comments from the other states made it nauseating. They didn't want to hear how the others expected this to happen or how cute they were together. They wanted it to be unacknowledged.

By the weeks end, it was as simple as breathing. Without admitting it to themselves or the other, they had found the act enjoyable. Neither wanted it to end. The comments had also halted and their fake relationship had been accepted among everyone. It was a great change of pace. Their days were less stressful and their nights more exciting.

But like all good things, it had to end. Today would be that day. Elizabeth fixed her form fitting, navy blue dress. She fixed her hair a few times and bit her lip. Alex wasn't doing much better. He kept tightening then loosening his red tie and adjusting the jacket.

Finally, reprieve for their anxiety came. The Netherlands swooped in and sat down across from them. He nodded his head at them both in greeting before ordering a water from the waitress. The three of them remained in a tense silence for awhile. 

William cleared his throat. "It appears neither of you were lying."

New York bristled at that. "No, why the fuck would we? It's a stupid thing to lie about." She drank down some of her red wine. "I love him. I love him so much."

Massachusetts put his arm around her shoulder. "I know he's the reason why, but you said that like you wanted to strangle me." He flashes a smile at the nation across from him. "I love your daughter. Everything I told you a month ago about how I feel still stands."

He nodded his head. "You I believe. It's Elizabeth who I'm surprised is with anyone. She's...she's not very charming when there isn't any money involved."

"Where do you think I get it from? You're no charmer. Seriously, why can't you believe me? You've seen my fights with him. You know how much I used to hate him." She crosses her arms over her chest. "It shouldn't matter this much to you."

The Netherlands smirked. "Why not? I'm your vader." He grew serious once more. "I want you to be happy. You're not a nation. You have more freedom with who you can be with. Because of that, I don't want you to be in a position where you believe you have to be with someone." He shrugged. "That's reason enough."

Alex took this as his opportunity to step in. "I think her showing her face is enough. I'll be honest, I ain't wicked popular. Especially in this state. Her being around me gets enough grief from the other states. That's the best evidence we got." He takes a sip of his water. "But, I still don't think we gotta prove anything to anyone except ourselves.

He shrugged. "Ja, I suppose that's right. As long as you two are happy I won't think too much about it."

New York laughed bitterly. "First time for everything."

After that, they continued their meal with fragile pleasantries. They rushed their meal before quickly going their separate ways - the only goodbyes being a promise from William to see his daughter and Alfred tomorrow about trade deals. 

Elizabeth sighed once they were in the car and leaned back against her seat. She closed her eyes and smiled. Her stomach had finally stopped doing somersaults. She could rest easy tonight.

Alexander wasn't feeling the same. He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. His mind was clouded with various thoughts and questions. He wanted to ask them, but something was keeping his jaw wired shut. New York noticed how strange he was acting and gave him a look. "Are you okay? You look like you're in pain."

He forced out a laugh. "Of course! I'm just thinking. Nothing special." For reassurance, he choked out another laugh. It didn't look like she was buying it so he gave up. "Fine. I'm thinking about what comes next. What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

She turned on the radio and rolled her eyes. "We go back to normal. That's what. C'mon, don't gimme that look. You should've seen it coming. What did you expect?"

He shut the radio off as soon as it was on. He considered his choice of words carefully. If he wanted this to work, he couldn't come on too obvious with this. "I expected us to keep the act going. Don't act like you didn't enjoy yourself. We've been going at each other's throats for years. It gets wicked tiring, Lizzie. And, let's be honest, it came naturally. Didn't it?"

She looked out the window. "You know that's not possible. Just because you say 'I love you' a few times for a performance this grand doesn't make it reality."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Massachusetts looked at her. "You can't be that dense. 'It's not possible?' Why? Because you care about all the shit California and her rat pack will give you? I thought you were so cool, so nonchalant, that anyone else's opinion of you didn't matter." His original plan was thrown out the window.

Her silence spoke volumes.

"Wow. Ya'know, I used to think you were impressive. Way back in the early nineteen hundreds. You were ahead of everything and were doing all this stuff I never could've done when I was in power. Shit, even before then I loved you. I still love you." He was steering with his knees due to gesturing uncontrollably with his hands as he talked. "You were so amazing - you still are, you're just a heartless bitch! You really don't float above it. You're incapable of it. Is validation that important to you? Do other people mean that much to you? Huh, no wonder you weren't a revolutionary. You don't have the independent spirit that's required."

It was a few minutes before Elizabeth responded. "If you're done, I'm gonna speak now. We've been over this before - I wasn't a revolutionary because I had different beliefs. I had it good with Arthur. Your side won, let it be. I appreciate all of that, I do. But you're mistaken. I do float above it. I don't care what others think of me. What I care about is how others think of those I care about, those I love. I will ridicule my family for days on end, but God helps the moron that does it cause I'll kill them. Do you get what I'm saying?" He shook his head, she sighed. "Figures. God, you're the one that's dense. I don't want to put you in a position where those West Coast bitches and Southern hillbillies will rip you to shreds because maybe I actually love you too." 

"That's so fucking typical of you. I don't know why I-" Then it hit him. He pulled over to the side of the road. "You just said you love me? Wicked." His laugh became genuine. He reached over the seat and grabbed her into a tight embrace. New York wiggled around in his arms. 

"Alex, I can't breathe."

"Shit, sorry." He let go of her. He couldn't wipe the ridiculous grin off of his mouth. "How long? How hot am I? When we fucked at Cape Cod in the sixties, does this mean you enjoyed it as much as me? Cause, whoo! I've thought about that night a lot."

Her face turned beet red. Elizabeth could barely meet his eyes. "Between the War of 1812 and the Civil War. Not hot, I hate that word. Sexy is a better fit. Or it is when you're not like this. Yeah, it does." 

He cheered loudly and pulled her over to him. He crushed his lips against hers. She responded almost instantaneously. It wasn't the nicest kiss or the neatest, but everything between them slowly became understood in those few seconds. He pulled back only when the question he had asked before was bubbling back to the surface of his mind. "What comes next then?"

She bit her lip. She couldn't act as cold and callous as she had done in her first answer. Denying that she wanted anything more between them would be a mistake. She couldn't even try to lie convincingly about it. There was only one real answer. "If you want, and I'm assuming you do, we're dating. But, I want an adjustment period before anyone finds out for real. Let's...let's be smart about things for a change."

Alexander winked at her and turned the car around. "Whatever you want, sweetheart. I'm all yours."

Elizabeth looked around. This wasn't the way back to her apartment. They were going to the northeast instead of to the Upper East Side. "Where are you taking me?"

He smirked without taking his eyes off the road. "When was the last time you went to Cape Cod?"