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You were on a perfect date with your totes KAWAII DESU YO~!!!11!! boyfriend/soul mate/hubby/fuck buddy/oh-my-God-why-can't-he-be-in-character boyfriend the kickass hero AMURICA! He looked at you and bat those eyelashes women would kill for. "Hey baby, wanna get a little wet right now?"

"Hell to the motherfucking yeah!" You said cause you knew he meant getting wet in the pool. You thought the other way? Damned pervert get off my lawn!

You slowly took off that FAVORITE FUCKING COLOR HERE itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny, very skimpy polka dot bikini that you wore for the first time today. Your beautiful tanned body was curvy, yet thin and made guys get a sudden boner. Oh yeah. You were hot.

As you jumped into the pool, your big and bouncy triple Ds slapped your face and made a wave of their own. Ukraine had nothing on them.

America stuck his face and began motor boating across the pool. When he finally reached those fucking mountains you call your tits, he shouted "Land ahoy!"

Your face turned INSERT COLOR FROM THAT PINK THING TO THAT RED THING HERE in embarrassed. "Alfie-kins!!" You whined, cutely yet obnoxiously that it made you just want to puke. "Don't do that! People could see us!"

Just then, Japan jumped out of the bushes. "I aporogize from my intrusion. I just wanted so steamy and sexy pictures for me and Hungary-chan-sama-whatever to post on the internet. Me and my erection wirr go now."

And so he left, leaving a trail of sparkles, chibis, and rainbows. You liked that so you ran your naked body through it. When you stepped out, America was Sweden.

"Su-San!!!" You said in your new PUT A DAMN COUNTRY IN HERE accent. "You aren't the beloved kawaii I so seek!"

"Nah bitch." He said gruffly. His non-breaking stare stared at you with full intensity. Damn he was manly unlike that America guy you used to sleep with. You're getting over him now you whore. "I came here to fuck you harder then Florida ever could because god dammit, I'm the country shaped penis."

So you fucked and you exploded into sparkles which rained at the wedding of YOUR OTP HERE.

CANON!
What have I done with my life?

This is for #Hetards contest. Feel free to lose all respect for me. Or gain some. Hey your call. (Written on: 11/17/12)

Of course I'll put a critic on this! I just want to see how you all think I could "improve" this.

And guess what! I still hate Readetalias!
CANON!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcloudwilk:
Face it, it's a clear rip-off of millions of other fanfic's. No originality. However, I find it hiliarious and well sarcastic. Even through this mad, garbage you can call a story it actually does leave a message.
You well conveyed the little stupid aspects in some fanfics so well, it actually does leave an impact. From the 'why can't he be in character' line to the 'Canon!' shout in the end, this piece of trash is a well told complete satire.
...... Hang on, I still have more words needed. I've really got nothing left to say. XD Three, two, one...
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconumbrellaunrequired:
Oh, God, I'm not used to make a critique like this, because I'm ashamed to get an "asskisser" label... But I will anyway, because, I have no words to describe such a masterpiece... It's touching... I could feel what the characters are feeling... It's pretty deep... I cried. It even reminded me of when I was with my boyfriend when I was 8 and he grabbed my cunt and... oh, that was so awesome :iconmeikogasmplz:
I also ate his dick while I ejaculated. Yum yum.
It made me masturbate. This text is going to be my fapping material for now on.
By the way, the grammar is perfect! I have so much to lean with you... ;_;
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
9 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconmikaellakun:
Mikaellakun Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013   Digital Artist
WAHAHAHAHA . NO REALLY , INSIDE IM JUST LAUGHING.

Horror fanfiction XD dis is d best XD
Reply
:iconponpongerardway:
ponpongerardway Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
tragically beautiful
Reply
:iconpastorii:
Pastorii Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
This is amazing. :iconsweetjesusplz:
Reply
:iconladytrampleton:
LadyTrampleton Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
This... this is just... beautiful... I shed a tear as I read this... my life is now complete :iconletmehuguplz:
Reply
:iconhoneyducess:
HoneyDucess Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Oh, dear, this just made me turn religious because of the pure beauty of everything.
And it also disturbs me that Sweden actually is kind of penis-shaped, now that I think of it. I live in Sweden, does that make me his sperm or something? So disturbed by that thought. So disturbed...
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm like a preacher. Except I don't molest children.

Yes. You're Swedish sperm and when you go to the beaches, you're ejaculating from him. Or the land. Whichever disturbs you more.
Reply
:iconle-kaikai:
Le-Kaikai Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
"You slowly took off that FAVORITE FUCKING COLOR HERE itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny, very skimpy polka dot bikini that you wore for the first time today"

I admit, I started singing...XD
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You
Reply
:iconspirit-of-muspelheim:
don't even
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I did
Reply
:iconspirit-of-muspelheim:
Spirit-of-Muspelheim Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
ds
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hg
Reply
:iconaltair01:
Altair01 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
...countryshaped penis....
that line was awesome xD
Reply
:iconmegaanimefreak7:
MegaAnimeFreak7 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Oh my God, I'm so glad you decided to participate. This is hilarious. Just please remember to put the date of entry in the artist comments.
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I've been trying to come up with this for weeks. Then I realized, whatever I write down, as long as it's weird, it'll work. Right. Putting that in right now.
Reply
:iconfrosted-colours:
Frosted-Colours Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Haha, I hate Hetalia tards like those :\
Reply
:iconmidnightlily453:
Midnightlily453 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think I just experienced the meaning of deviantart life in this fanfic...:iconletmehugyouplz:
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Not just deviantart life. All life revolves around this fic.
Reply
:iconmidnightlily453:
Midnightlily453 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm pretty sure it does. The sheer kawaii desu-ness is like a center of gravity.
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It makes gravity into a black hole that's sucking the world into it.
Reply
:iconmidnightlily453:
Midnightlily453 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's a black hole of rainbow vampire sparkles. And let's not forget the Prussian flags and GerIta porn fics. Oh, and sugar and spice and all that shit.
:iconderpyamericaplz:
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
And don't forget those craptastic lemons where someone's getting a dick shoved up their ass. Yeah man, that's some good shit right there.
Reply
:iconmidnightlily453:
Midnightlily453 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yep, it's beautiful. Almost as beautiful as kawaii-desu rape lemons about Russia. 'Cause nothing says sexy like non-consentual sex.
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh those are hot and make rainbows explode out of Italy's ass as his brother butt-fucks him.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcloudwilk:
Cloudwilk Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Filmographer
Every fanfic I've heard of yet XD XD I just watched some cracktalia clips and now this... I think my head is gonna explode from laughing. (This was mad awkward for me though considering the fact I'm a guy XD XD)
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Then I've just mind fucked you hard. ...I'm so sorry for the akwardness. Especially the breast part.
Reply
:iconcloudwilk:
Cloudwilk Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Filmographer
I found it funny, so it's not anything you have to be too sorry about >w<
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Then I'm not sorry. And you can have fun with your one time boobs. God, I sound insane
Reply
:iconcloudwilk:
Cloudwilk Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Filmographer
Insanity is fine in healthy dosages >w<
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I can definitely agree with that.
Reply
:iconmunchingrabbit:
MunchingRabbit Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I laughed way too hard at this, mostly because my breasts are nowhere near that size.
Reply
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