Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:iconinkstaineddove: More from inkstaineddove

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
November 17, 2012
File Size
2.3 KB
Submitted with


23 (who?)
You were on a perfect date with your totes KAWAII DESU YO~!!!11!! boyfriend/soul mate/hubby/fuck buddy/oh-my-God-why-can't-he-be-in-character boyfriend the kickass hero AMURICA! He looked at you and bat those eyelashes women would kill for. "Hey baby, wanna get a little wet right now?"

"Hell to the motherfucking yeah!" You said cause you knew he meant getting wet in the pool. You thought the other way? Damned pervert get off my lawn!

You slowly took off that FAVORITE FUCKING COLOR HERE itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny, very skimpy polka dot bikini that you wore for the first time today. Your beautiful tanned body was curvy, yet thin and made guys get a sudden boner. Oh yeah. You were hot.

As you jumped into the pool, your big and bouncy triple Ds slapped your face and made a wave of their own. Ukraine had nothing on them.

America stuck his face and began motor boating across the pool. When he finally reached those fucking mountains you call your tits, he shouted "Land ahoy!"

Your face turned INSERT COLOR FROM THAT PINK THING TO THAT RED THING HERE in embarrassed. "Alfie-kins!!" You whined, cutely yet obnoxiously that it made you just want to puke. "Don't do that! People could see us!"

Just then, Japan jumped out of the bushes. "I aporogize from my intrusion. I just wanted so steamy and sexy pictures for me and Hungary-chan-sama-whatever to post on the internet. Me and my erection wirr go now."

And so he left, leaving a trail of sparkles, chibis, and rainbows. You liked that so you ran your naked body through it. When you stepped out, America was Sweden.

"Su-San!!!" You said in your new PUT A DAMN COUNTRY IN HERE accent. "You aren't the beloved kawaii I so seek!"

"Nah bitch." He said gruffly. His non-breaking stare stared at you with full intensity. Damn he was manly unlike that America guy you used to sleep with. You're getting over him now you whore. "I came here to fuck you harder then Florida ever could because god dammit, I'm the country shaped penis."

So you fucked and you exploded into sparkles which rained at the wedding of YOUR OTP HERE.

What have I done with my life?

This is for #Hetards contest. Feel free to lose all respect for me. Or gain some. Hey your call. (Written on: 11/17/12)

Of course I'll put a critic on this! I just want to see how you all think I could "improve" this.

And guess what! I still hate Readetalias!
Add a Comment:
Face it, it's a clear rip-off of millions of other fanfic's. No originality. However, I find it hiliarious and well sarcastic. Even through this mad, garbage you can call a story it actually does leave a message.
You well conveyed the little stupid aspects in some fanfics so well, it actually does leave an impact. From the 'why can't he be in character' line to the 'Canon!' shout in the end, this piece of trash is a well told complete satire.
...... Hang on, I still have more words needed. I've really got nothing left to say. XD Three, two, one...
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

Oh, God, I'm not used to make a critique like this, because I'm ashamed to get an "asskisser" label... But I will anyway, because, I have no words to describe such a masterpiece... It's touching... I could feel what the characters are feeling... It's pretty deep... I cried. It even reminded me of when I was with my boyfriend when I was 8 and he grabbed my cunt and... oh, that was so awesome :iconmeikogasmplz:
I also ate his dick while I ejaculated. Yum yum.
It made me masturbate. This text is going to be my fapping material for now on.
By the way, the grammar is perfect! I have so much to lean with you... ;_;
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
9 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

Mikaellakun Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013   Digital Artist

Horror fanfiction XD dis is d best XD
ponpongerardway Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
tragically beautiful
Pastorii Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
This is amazing. :iconsweetjesusplz:
LadyTrampleton Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
This... this is just... beautiful... I shed a tear as I read this... my life is now complete :iconletmehuguplz:
HoneyDucess Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Oh, dear, this just made me turn religious because of the pure beauty of everything.
And it also disturbs me that Sweden actually is kind of penis-shaped, now that I think of it. I live in Sweden, does that make me his sperm or something? So disturbed by that thought. So disturbed...
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm like a preacher. Except I don't molest children.

Yes. You're Swedish sperm and when you go to the beaches, you're ejaculating from him. Or the land. Whichever disturbs you more.
Le-Kaikai Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
"You slowly took off that FAVORITE FUCKING COLOR HERE itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny, very skimpy polka dot bikini that you wore for the first time today"

I admit, I started singing...XD
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
don't even
Add a Comment: