Seven Step Recoveryi.You were my once upon-a-time. You were my prince. A stupid prince, albeit a pretty one. You were supposed to whisk me away off to the fantastical land of New Jersey as soon as we were legal. You never told me New Jersey pavement was actually South Carolina forest. ii.I remember thinking that maybe this was working out. I remember thinking of forever and thinking of ourselves off in the world, me being great and you quite charming. I remember being hopeful and maybe a little delusional. I remember crying into my pillows at 3am because it was over. Because my "life" was over. iii.New halls and chipping green paint were supposed to be the scenery of our sequel. I believe it was titled, "I Try to Stop Fucking Things Up and You Quit Being an Asshole." Scene one went with me running into your open arms and you holding me close whispering chocolate dipped apologies into my ears. Soap operas don't make good reality TV. You slammed your locke
there is no difference between plastic and nylonThis is another poem,another piece,another pretentiously named,absolutely "blunt"poemreferencing the clichesonly to apologize laterFor I'm sitting herecoughinghackingcursing my lungs thatsuck at being lungs(i blamecigarettes andfireworks andsalt water burningdown my throat.i blamescreaming and yellingto be heard when it's nolonger needed)And here I amand there you are.I sit here shouting -shouting at the universefor not containing enoughsomethingfor me to latch onto - and praying forrecognition.I am hopelessand I believeyou're aware. And halfway inI bet - no,I know -you're cringing.References tocigarettes,the universe,anonymous third parties.So I write,fingertips drippingink(in actuality,the clipof my keyboard)kidding myself and whoever may listenthat I have anoriginaluniquewondrousfeeling. (turns outi'm nothingbut a statistic)
cicadas and sun isn't the southi rememberchildhood summers filled with juices ofplucked orangesrunningdown my chin,hibiscus shading me from the Florida sun. i rememberdragonflies,splinters,and bloody noses.i remembercute little boys and girlswho could only causetemporary damage.i remembertrips up north andgrandparents loving andwelcoming smiles.i remembersitting on the staircasehearingthe truth of afelon uncle andpregnant cousini remembersnowy fights,runny noses, and laughing, chased by my father.i rememberbathrooms locked tightwith cold tiles,escaping each fight. i remember the taste of chocolate;of cotton candy and fast food.the feel of beingfat.i remember their words and i remember - god, how i remember - crippling body issues. i rememberthe days i believed i was a princess,adored by one and all.i remember the day my father stopped being myknight-in-shining-armor. i rememberbest fri
the broken always hide it besti remember nights wasted countingthe scars in her heart and attemptsto fix the chinks in her well thought-outarmor. i remember sitting under the starsshe barely glanced at and countingthe different ways to reach infinity.i remember scheming in the basementof her old home plotting out as many"fool proof" ways to leave our town behindand start all over. i remember the night i heard she leftour town in a plan she never mentioned considering and i remember the taste ofsalty tears on pinked cheeks. i remember chasing after the starsthat seemed to leave the sky and howthere was a warrant out for the moons arrest.i remember stumbling into the church's basement and thinking about how this placewas too holy and clean for her final goodbye. (i can still hear everyone's fake 'i'm sorrys') i remember the day i died and had to keep onliving in a world that never shone as bright whilstshe died and got the escape she dreamed about for years.
from florida with loveyou are an unstable constant in my lifethere is no promise of you in daybreakand there is no lingering trace of you at night.for three years of my life you were therei could depend on you to house meto feed me, to take care of me. but then i left because i didn't knowi didn't know what it would be like awayfrom your blistering chill and your great cooking. i have returned to you twice a yearten years i hope you'll accept me once moreone week i hope it can feel natural again.you send me away with bags packed and car hummingyou do not plead for me to stay by your sideyou leave no parting words between us. i cry for you every week and i'm not ashamedi curse you before i sleep, clutching my pillowand before i sleep i smell the garlic and coffee scent. i do not love the paradise you lovei hate the palm trees and i hate the suni hate hurricane season and i hate sandy beaches. i love the snow you complain abouti love burnt tongues from too hot ho